How You Know When You're Living in Alignment With Your Needs
We’ve been conditioned out of our knowing.
Enticed to look outside ourselves. Role modeled to that it's all about ticking the boxes. Frightened into pleasing, or pushing through. And all the while, our beautiful body - our deepest, clearest compass - has been whispering (or sometimes screaming), “This isn’t it.”
So, how do we know when we are living in alignment with our needs?
We start by coming home to the body.
We start by learning what a YES feels like, and what a NO feels like, for us.
Not for our Mum or our Partner or Bestie or the Mum we chat to at school pick up, and definitely not the influencers you see on Instagram.
For you and you alone, my love.
What a full-body YES feels like
Your yes won’t look like anyone else’s. But here’s some examples of how it might feel when your response to a decision you’re making is a yes
Your shoulders drop.
Your jaw softens.
Your breath flows deeper, without trying.
There’s a sense of aliveness in your chest or belly.
You feel a little excited, maybe even giddy.A quiet clarity, like, “ahhh… this makes sense.”
A sense of coming home to yourself.
Sometimes a yes is a tingling, a sparkle. Sometimes it’s calm and grounded.
It might feel like expansion. Like space just opened up inside you.
What a clear NO feels like
The no can show up quietly… or it can feel LOUD.
Your jaw clenches.
Shoulders rise up toward your ears.
Belly tightens, or your gut feels off.
A shallow breath. A subtle dread.
A mental scramble to justify or overthink.
You feel disconnected, contracted, unsure.
You want to run, freeze, or fawn.
The no can feel foggy, like being out of step with yourself. It can feel like exhaustion before you’ve even done the thing.
Sometimes, it’s just an intuitive nudge saying “This doesn’t feel right”.
And here's the truth: the body always knows
Cultivating your unique body intelligence
The skill is not in forcing a yes. It’s in listening,noticing, and trusting.
Body intelligence isn’t about getting it “right” - it’s about getting real with where you’re at and what your needs are at this time.
This is a practice of deep attunement. And the more you practice, the clearer it becomes.
Here are some ways to tune in:
Pause before the response
If you need it, use a simple phrase like “let me feel into that and get back to you” to give your system time to respond honestly.
Drop into the body
Notice what happens when you imagine saying yes. Notice again when you imagine saying no.
Where does it land? How does it move? Tighten? Open?
Feel into the gut
That deep, instinctive part of you often knows before the mind does. Gut reactions are ancient wisdom. Trust them. And there’s science to prove the intelligence that lives there.
Journal it out
Sometimes the truth is buried under stories, limiting beliefs, guilt, or expectation. Writing gives space to untangle and hear yourself.
Breathe and be with what arises
Soft, slow breath can help you stay with the sensations without needing to fix or flee.
Track your patterns
What did YES feel like the last time you followed it? What did NO feel like when you ignored it?
Build your library of inner evidence and you’ll get more practiced in time at drawing on these experiences.
““The body says what words cannot.” ”
You already hold the map. You already know the way.
The work is learning your own signals again and learning how it feels in your body when life is aligned with your needs. And choosing again and again to listen.
If you're ready to build your own unique roadmap back to yourself, to get practiced in knowing your YES and honouring your NO, then I’d love to walk alongside you.
Join me on The Nourished Path, my 1:1 coaching container designed to help you reconnect with what you need, what you feel, and what truly supports your well-being.
Come back home to your body and watch your entire experience of life level up.
With love and warmth,
Alex x
